My Jouney So Far...

Just wanted to introduce myself ....

I am 48 and became a Christian 10 years ago. I am married with children
although only one is still at home. I am also a foster carer.

I had no real religous background and started off in the Church of England
although I did not really consider myself to be a specific denomination only a
"Christian".

I stayed there for four and a half years and then left and went to other churches, an independant church for a year and a Baptist church for two years.

I returned to the church I had started at just before the vicar retired and
stayed there for a year until the new vicar was appointed.

Once again I felt that I had to leave because the new vicat wanted to be addressed as Father and I did not feel that I could do this (I have now studied and addressed this issue with the help of a wonderful Catholic forum and some informative websites).

I then started to go to a house church which had some wonderful qualities but the leadership was so condemning of other Christians who have different
practices and the Catholic Church in particular.

In the end I could no longer continue to attend there because of this lack of
love to other Christians.

For about 3 months I did not go anywhere being very confused and wrestling with what to do and where to go. This happened at the same time as I was wrestling with some other personal family issues as well.

In the end I felt lead to return once again to the place I had started.

Having to deal with the "Call no man Father issue" lead me to other look at
other aspects of the Catholic Church. The first of these being the difference
in the bible used. So I read the "Extra" books.

The only way I can describe this is traumatic because I felt I had been
previously "robbed" of these.

I had a conversation with the vicar about how I had stopped seeing him as "too Catholic" and started seeing his as possibly "not Catholic enough".

He thought that my interest in all things Catholic had been inspired by the
Popes offer to take certain Forward in Faith traditional groups from Anglican churches under the authority of Rome in a new thing called the Ordinariate, but this was the first I had heard about it.

The question this raised to me was why we did not then just become "regular"
Catholics and what would be the difference.

Wanting to get information "from the horses mouth" as it were I did speak to a priest at the local Catholic church, he lent me a book about Mary.

I asked him about classes - he said the only classes they did were for people
who basically wanted to marry a Catholic and had to join the church in order to do so.

I did manage to persuade him to let my son and I come to one of the classes, but that was it. He was right no-one who was there seemed to have any real interest in learning anything, they just wanted to tick the boxes so they could have their weddings in the church.

I also went to a mass there to see what happened, it was beautiful, but everyone disappeared straight way afterwards and I could not talk to them.

I did ring the priest again and ask him if there was a better time to come in
order to get to know the people and find out about Catholic practices and how to actually live the faith that way, but he told me that I was better off not talking to the congregation about these things as "There is nothing as ignorant as a baptised Catholic!" Please forgive me these are his words not mine. His only other advice was to read the Catechism and talk to the Anglican vicar who he said could tell me anything I needed to know.

Although the vicar is very helpful I dont necessarily think that the best
information about the Catholic Church can be obtained from someone who left it (although he does want our church to be brought back under the authority of Rome).

I have started reading the catechism which is much easier reading than I thought as I expected it to be very dry and it is infact a picture of love.

I am also reading a wonderful book that I got at the Catholic Truth Society book shop on friday called The Biblical Basis for the Catholic Faith by John Salza.

It is probably the most difficult thing I have read EVER not because the
concepts are hard to grasp or understand, but just the opposite!

There have been so many forehead slapping moments (oh how dumb am I), moments of disbelief about how I have managed to miss something which has been under my nose all this time and also many tears - some of which I am crying as I write.

I was also told by the man who runs the bookshop to ring round other parishes nearby to see if I can get a better reception and see if any are starting RCIA classes in September.

It may well be that I still stay in the Church of England church that I am
currently in as I believe that the whole congregation may well "move over" and come under the authority of Rome, but I do not know how long that might take and I do not want to trust my own soul to a process which might take years, so I want to take responsibility for my own journey.